


one last chance

by multihyucks



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Ghosts, Halloween, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26957194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multihyucks/pseuds/multihyucks
Summary: It seems like the universe is giving Jaemin one last chance to confess his feelings, because Renjun standing in front of him as a ghost surely isn't something that happens on a daily basis. It's a wonderful moment, but it goes by way too fast and just like that, Jaemin has to say goodbye to the love of his life forever.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	one last chance

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello and happy early halloween !! (yes i couldn't wait to post this)  
> the idea for this fic is based on the ghost challenge on tiktok, i really really wanted to write about it and well.. then i made it sad. this is most definitely the saddest fic i have ever written, so maybe go get some tissues.. i hope you enjoy reading !!
> 
> english isn't my first language so I apologize for any mistakes !!

"Here Jen, take another one!", Jaemin says while posing in front of a big tree.  
He and his friends have decided to take part in the ghost challenge on Tiktok, so right now they're walking around their town in badly made ghost costumes and taking pictures of each other.  
They're having the time of their lifes, thinking of funny poses and cool places to go so that they get the best possible pictures. It couldn't be better, right?  
  
Wrong, at least for Jaemin. He doesn't show it, but he really isn't as happy as he seems. Today isn't just halloween, it's also the anniversary of his best friend's death. Well, more like his best friend who was also his crush. It happened three years ago on halloween: a big party, everyone was drunk and the driver didn't see Renjun, who was dressed in all black like a vampire. That's why Jaemin hates halloween. He hates being reminded of the most important person suddenly being ripped out of his life. And he's still blaming himself, because maybe Renjun wouldn't have ran out of the house and across the street if they hadn't argued over a stupid game. Maybe he would be standing right next to him now, laughing and taking pictures with the others.  
No matter how much his friends try to distract him, Jaemin can't stop thinking about it. He thinks that he'll never stop mourning, and he'll never lose his feelings. It drives Jaemin insane, not being able to hug the person he loves and misses the most. He still isn't able to visit the grave without breaking out in tears.  
  
"Jaemin? Helloooo? Earth to Jaemin?", Donghyuck waves his hand in front of the younger's face and snaps him back to reality.  
  
"Uh what? Sorry, I spaced out..", Jaemin mumbles and gives his friends an apologetic smile.  
  
"You thought about him again, right?", Mark asks quietly and takes the boy's hand.  
  
Jaemin just nods and looks to the ground. He can already feel tears forming in his eyes. His friends don't deserve to see him cry. They have been trying their best to make him smile, Jaemin doesn't want them to feel like they didn't help at all. So, he wipes his tears and grins widely.  
  
"It's fine guys, I'm fine", he promises the others while squeezing Mark's hand. The elder has been the most supportive for Jaemin, because he was the only one who knew about the younger's feelings for Renjun.  
  
Luckily, they don't talk about it any longer and just continue the photoshoot. That's what Jaemin asked his friends to do, he doesn't want them to worry about him too much. He isn't weak, right? He made it this far even without Renjun, so he isn't weak. Crying and mourning is normal, and Mark has taught him to not beat himself up over it.  
  
They decide to take some more pictures on the playground thanks to Donghyuck, who had the idea.  
  
"Woah we look amazing!", Jeno exclaims while scrolling through his camera roll.  
  
And so, the evening continues. While watching kids knock on doors to get candy and taking even more pictures here and there, Jaemin is actually able to distract himself a little bit. His friends notice that of course and they happily go along with it.  
  
When it's time to go home, Jaemin's mood changes though. Mark insists on walking with him, which the younger declines. He wants, no he _needs_ to be alone for the rest of the night, and there's a reason why: every year on halloween, he buys Renjun's favourite sweets and puts them in a bowl next to the small cross that has been put up on the side of the road, exactly where his friend died. Only Mark knows about it, that's why the elder wanted to come with him, but Jaemin always wants to be alone when he does it.

* * *

  
His heart starts beating faster when he finally reaches the street where it happened. He walks slowly along the path without making any noise. The people who live there also know about it of course, they've been leaving the lights in their front yard on just for Jaemin. Today, a black cat is sitting next to the empty bowl, probably thinking that Jaemin is going to feed it.  
The boy puts the candies in, much to the cat's disappointment, and sits down in front of it.

He sees the pictures of that night popping up in front of his eyes again and of course, tear after tear starts rolling down his cheeks. He sees Renjun running out of the front door and him following right after. He sees the car coming out of nowhere and how he tries to stop the elder from crossing the road. And he sees himself sinking to his knees when it happens, when his whole world comes crumbling down right in front of him.  
  
"How did I go so long without you, Junnie?", Jaemin sniffles quietly, not wanting to wake anyone up, "How am I still surviving?"  
  
He pulls his knees to his chest and lets his head rest on them, starting to cry even more.  
Surprisingly, the black cat comes snuggling up next to him and starts purring as if it wants to comfort him.  
  
Overthinking is truly a curse in Jaemin's opinion. Probably the worst thing about it all is that he had planned to confess his feelings that night. Sadly, the fight came between it and when Jaemin finally said the things he's been wanting to tell his friend all these months, Renjun was long gone. Mark held the younger for the whole night back then, when they called 911, on the way to the hospital and in the waiting area in front of the intensive care unit. Jaemin didn't stop crying for even one second, because he knew that Renjun couldn't be saved. Everyone tried to stay positive, everyone promised that Renjun would be okay but Jaemin was immediately aware of the harsh reality, and it broke his heart into a million pieces. The first few months after that were true hell for him.  
He knew that Renjun was gone, but he didn't want to accept the fact that he'd never be able to hug or talk to his friend ever again. Of course the others were always there and mourning together made them all feel a little bit better, but it still was the worst time in Jaemin's whole life. On top of that, Mark decided to confess his feelings to the younger a few months later, and rejecting the person who helped him the most during that time broke Jaemin's heart once again. Luckily, they decided to stay friends and Mark was able to get over it quite quickly thanks to Donghyuck and his flirty nature. Jeno on the other hand had strayed from their friend group and distracted himself with his brother's parties, where he met Jaehyun, his current boyfriend. They got in contact again quickly though and were all able to heal one by one. Everyone except Jaemin.  
  
He has been staying in his position for at least fifteen minutes now, but then he suddenly feels a light touch on his shoulder. It feels like someone placed a hand there, but it's cold, so unbelievably cold, as if the blood had stopped running through it.  
  
"Hey", a voice now comes from behind him and when he turns around, Jaemin thinks that he's going completely insane.  
  
A boy is standing there, with a way too familiar smile sitting on his lips. His skin is weirdly ash-grey and when Jaemin looks close enough, it seems like he can see right through him.  
  
"Long time no see Jaemin"  
  
"What the hell.. _Renjun_?", the younger jumps up in complete shock. He has to control himself to not scream right then and there in the middle of the night, but he can't believe his eyes. Honestly, who could believe it when their friend who is dead since three years is suddenly standing in front of them? Right, nobody.  
  
"H-how? You are dead Renjun! How can I fucking see you right now?", Jaemin starts bombarding the elder with questions, "I have to be fucking hallucinating, this can't be real oh my god.. I'm going insane"  
  
"Hey hey hey calm down for a second", Renjun gets closer and gently puts his hands on both of Jaemin's shoulders again. "I know this is a lot, and I know that you think that this isn't real but.. it is. I'm here, I'm real and you definitely aren't going insane"  
  
"But.. how?"  
  
"I'm a ghost Jaemin", the elder lets out a soft chuckle, "Don't freak out please, I have a lot of explaining to do. Can we sit down somewhere?"  
  
The younger just nods and pulls Renjun to the nearest bench. He doesn't dare to say a word, fearing that the boy, no, the ghost, will just disappear again right in front of his eyes.  
  
Of course Renjun notices how confused and scared Jaemin currently is, so he quietly takes the boy's hand and starts playing with his fingers.  
  
"I'm sorry that I didn't come back earlier", he now mumbles, "It's kind of difficult to explain but we ghosts live in a parallel world, in the same place we used to live in this world. Everything is exactly the same, except that the people who are still alive aren't there of course"  
  
Jaemin listens to the elder carefully while looking at him up and down over and over again. He's still wearing his vampire costume, even the fake fangs are there. His whole body seems like it's glowing in a soft white colour and he doesn't have to move his legs to walk anymore. From what it looks like he's levitating over the ground, and now the bench, a bit too. It's just like Jaemin imagined a ghost, but it's also completely different. Seeing his friend like this is weird and he doesn't know whether he should be happy or terrified.  
  
"Normally ghosts aren't able to come back to the normal world, only for special occasions", Renjun continues explaining, "And today kind of is a special occasion I guess.. I really wanted to tell you something Jaemin. Actually, I've already been wanting to tell you this before I died"  
  
"Oh.. what is it?"  
  
There is a little bit of hope in Jaemin's voice. Hope that Renjun feels the same for him, hope that all the years of pining are finally worth it, hope that he didn't waste the last three years of his life on loving a dead person who doesn't even love him back.  
But honestly, it's crazy of him to think that. Jaemin and Renjun were nothing but friends, and they still are exactly that, right?  
  
"This is going to sound so weird but.. I really really liked you Jaemin, and I still do", Renjun looks down and sighs. "I wasn't able to get over you in these whole three years, it's kind of embarrassing"  
  
"Oh god Renjun.. I- I can't believe that this is happening right now", the younger stammers, looking at their interwined fingers.  
  
"Yeah I knew that this would be awkward as hell.."  
  
"No no no no! This relieves me so much because fuck Renjun, I've been so in love with you since the day we met.. I never had the guts to tell you though"  
  
"Wait, really?", Renjun looks up again with widened eyes, "I had no freaking idea oh my god"  
  
"I guess I'm good at hiding my feelings then", Jaemin now chuckles.  
  
This also brings a smile to Renjun's lips and wow, Jaemin missed that smile so much. He's really holding the hand of Huang Renjun, the love of his life. It seems like the universe is on his side today.  
  
"One question though.. how and why can i still touch you?", the younger asks quietly, unsure whether it could ruin the mood or not.  
  
"Oh that's because I have only been a ghost for three years", Renjun answers immediately, "The longer you are a ghost, the more invisible you get, until you're completely invisible just like in all those kids shows"  
  
"Oh woah.. That's actually very interesting"  
  
"Mhmmm", the elder hums while squeezing Jaemin's hand.  
  
"So uh.. Can I..", Jaemin takes a deep breath and looks at Renjun with soft eyes, "Can I kiss you then?"  
  
There's silence between them for a few seconds before Renjun slowly nods.  
  
"Yes... Yes please kiss me", he breathes out and bites down on his lip, "Please, I've been waiting for this for so so long"  
  
Jaemin smiles widely while cupping the elder's cheeks. He is finally able to confess his feelings officially, and he couldn't be happier.  
  
"Huang Renjun, I love you more than anything", Jaemin whispers and finally closes the gap between them.  
  
The elder's lips are cold, just like his hands, but Jaemin doesn't care. A flame is burning in the pit of his stomach and it's slowly spreading through his entire body. This is what he has wanted to do for more than three years and he's finally able to do it, he can finally kiss the person he loves the most. The moment couldn't be more perfect.  
  
They break the kiss and look at each other, both breathing heavily. Suddenly, a tear rolls down Renjun's cheek.  
  
"You're crying", Jaemin gasps, "Renjun why are you crying?"  
  
"Jaemin, there's a problem..", the elder sobs, leaning his forehead against Jaemin's.  
  
"What is it? Tell me, please", the other begs, also starting to tear up.  
  
"Do you remember how I mentioned that ghosts can only come here on special occasions? Yeah.. that's not all", Renjun pulls Jaemin into a tight hug. "We can also only come here once and we can stay for exactly one hour, not any longer.."  
  
"No.."  
  
"I'm so sorry Jaemin.. I wish I could stay longer"  
  
"Renjun no this can't be true! You can't just go now, I still have so much to tell you.. I missed you so fucking much!", Jaemin cries out and digs his fingers into the elder's shirt, "Please don't leave me again, please there _has_ to be a way for you to stay"  
  
"There isn't, Jaemin", Renjun pulls back and cups the other's cheeks, "My time is up.. I'm so so sorry"  
  
They kiss one last time, tears dripping down onto both of their shirts. Jaemin can feel how the elder begins to fade away, his lips not touching him enough anymore.  
  
"Goodbye Jaemin, I love you. I'll be waiting for you"  
  
Like that, Renjun slips out of the younger's hold completely. He disappears with the soft smile still very present on his lips, the same damn smile Jaemin fell in love with all these years ago. He can't believe it, this short moment they had went by way too fast and now Renjun is gone again, forever this time. This night, Jaemin's life comes crumbling down for a second time.

**Author's Note:**

> okayyy i hope you liked the fic and if you cried.. sorry, here's a heart ♡  
> but guys !! i already have an idea for part two so don't worry, they'll meet again ;)


End file.
